this is my favorite tweet of 2014
OH MY I JUST SNORTED MY MILK.
GO TO A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY
glasses are so stupid. u wanted to lie on ur side??? fuck off. u wanted a hot drink???? u can’t see shit now bc ur glasses are fogged up. go out in the rain???? tough luck shithead.
It’s a great ice breaker on your first day at a new school.
I’m about to get a degree in blogging after a year of online classes
people who wear pants past 7 are not the kind of people i associate with
jesus christ i’m getting hate over this because people are putting the word ‘size’ in there when thats not what i was saying
AS IN THE FUCKING TIME
I thought you meant past age 7 and I was rly confused
"Happy birthday son. Since you’re eight now it’s time you learn about kilts.”
those jerks at culinary school always called me a weanie but look at me now
When you make a reference and someone actually gets it.